|
| |
California, the Beautiful
Good Morning, Californians!
Not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and/or Texan jokes...
You know you're in California! when......
- Your
coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
- You
make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
- You
take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
in English.
- Your
child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
- You
can't remember...is pot illegal?
- You've
been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
- You
have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and
you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
- You
know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
- You
can't remember...is pot illegal?
- A
really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
- A
low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
- Gas
costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
- A
man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
You don't even notice.
- Unlike
back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and
sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
- Your
car insurance costs as much as your house payment
- Your
hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in
drag.
- You
can't remember...is pot illegal?
- Its
barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH 2003."
- You
have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is
teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class.
- You
pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with
their cells or pagers.
- It's
barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid
all the weather-related accidents.
- Hey!!!!
Is Pot Illegal????
- Both
you AND your dog have therapists.
- The
Terminator is your governor.
|